04/08/05
i want to write something, but i'm not sure what yet. the two pictures that appear on this page are mediocre, not quite sure what i want to express. i am extremely drunk at the moment, and these photos were taken a couple of months ago or so. if i had money, support, and if i could trust, i would definitely opt for plastic surgery, i would think of it as something to be tried to help me in my life. i would get a lot done. however, since it doesn't seem likely that an opportunity like that will fall into my lap, i wish those who are brave enough to try well, i hope that things go as they wish. i think it takes courage to try to change yourself in an extreme way, and i think there are a lot of risks involved, and i guess i feel jealous in a way, i wish i had the opportunity to take a chance in this way.
tonight, i'm just trying to pass time. it's late, and i've been staying up very late lately (at least 6 am or so). i have no one to talk to, and i feel lonely. at the time i took these photos, i also took some photos that were very 'clockwork orange'. i'm not sure why i kept the plain ones and deleted the more unusual ones. lately, i've been watching possum tv. there is a spy cam in the possum nesting box, and the baby is starting to look like a miniature possum, when at first it looked a little like a baby seal. i find it comforting to see the possum sleeping in the nesting box that gk made especially for her. the fur of the baby is growing, and she (we saw a pouch) is picking up a lot of the mannerisms of her mother. possums groom themselves a lot. they lick themselves like cats, but also seem to comb themselves with their sharp claws. the baby seems to have learned this very well. the mother sleeps through the day, and often the baby is active during this time. she bites her mother's ears, climbs on her, plays with leaves in the nesting box or climbs the wire mesh put in to help the possums climb out of the box.