cyber-bullying and suicide

When someone is facing the pressure of cyber-bullying, I would want that person to have a safe place to discuss all they are going through and feeling. I would want that person to believe they have a right to seek help and support. I would not want them to feel that suicide is their only option. I would not want my site to be something that makes people feel more hopeless.

On my site, I am trying to explain how it is possible for some people to slip through the cracks when it comes to seeking help for mental health issues, or when it comes to fitting into life. There are dark aspects to life that some people, including me, have a need to discuss. This is not necessarily the right approach for all or most people. I don't want to confuse or harm anyone, but at the same time, I do care about trying to connect with those who might have a need to express some of the dark things that I myself am preoccupied with.

If a vulnerable person sees some of her/himself in what I express, I want to stress that I don't believe this means that person is doomed to turn out like me. In telling my story and sharing my observations, one of my hopes is that others will be able to spot what could be done differently, when it comes to themselves or someone they care about. The things I talk about on my site relate to what I could not resolve in a satisfactory way, when it came to official or 'professional' help, or when it came to my own personal efforts, and those of family and friends.

I am 47 now, and have been struggling since my teens. It took a very long time for me to become as isolated as I am, with few realistic chances to connect with life and people. I am all for encouraging those who are struggling, whether they are young or not, to reach out, and to try again if their previous efforts didn't work out. As for myself, all I am able to do at this point is try to communicate my individual story. While I am still communicating, there is at least the possibility of connection. If I stop communicating, there is no longer any chance.

Are there people who believe the world would be a better place if I just quietly went away? Through reading many of the appalling online comments related to victims of cyber-bullying, I would have to say yes, I believe there are many people out there who would be happy if I killed myself. However, I do not have to face the horrific pressure of people telling me to do so.

->exile on meme st: a diary