17/01/03
i guess it's good to know that there is an actual physical reason for my hair loss, lack of energy, weakness, coldness, and that it may also be at least partially responsible for irritability, lack of ability to concentrate, depression (although i realize there is a serious pre- existing depression and that that might have contributed to me ignoring that there could be any cause for my symptoms other than depression while at the same time i was feeling the symptoms more acutely..) and that it is actually possible to treat these symptoms just by giving me iron. no, i don't think the depression will go away just because i'm taking iron (it didn't happen in the past), but i suppose it will be interesting to see if taking iron results in me feeling noticeable changes with regards to my other symptoms and to the depression itself. things were complicated at the time i took iron in the past, and i don't want to get into it now. anyway, my current doctor prescribed that i take 105 mg of iron a day, considerably more than the 5 mg i was self- treating with. in two months, i am supposed to get my blood checked again (in the past when i had anemia, i was prescribed 70 mg a day for 3 months.. the same total amount as at present, only spread out.. i'm wondering if it actually makes more sense to take a smaller amount for a longer period because of constipation issues, but i guess i'll find out). i hate the sloppy way i've written this up, but i don't feel like fixing it to make it clearer. it's an understatement to say that it was difficult waiting for the appointment and then going. it was difficult going to medicare afterward and also it was difficult just going to buy the iron supplements. i feel grumpy, frazzled, overloaded and want to collapse. i suppose in a way i do feel relieved, and i suppose this makes things a lot easier for me. i should be able to work on my body without worrying about it too much now, and maybe before long i'll even have more physical energy. at the same time, right now, this instant, i just want to collapse. so maybe i'll need a little recovery time.
all other tests were normal. don't feel like getting into what they were.
i don't really know what i'm going to do now. i'll start taking iron but i'm not sure about the rest.