my first live political protest, hopefully..
While walking down the street, I was approached by someone passing
out fliers for a marriage equality rally. I am going to try really
hard to get there. At present, I'm kind of out of control, and
drinking again as I compile this entry. I'm a bit disorganized, and
realize I need to fix some mistakes in my previous entries, but it
will take a bit of concentration to get the mistakes rectified, and
then set it all up so I can do it at the library.
I don't think I've mentioned on my site yet how great it was when I
heard that marriage equality had finally passed country-wide in the
US. Hopefully Australia won't be too far behind. I have commented on
this subject before. While I am not really a huge fan of the
institution of marriage itself, I do believe that every person,
regardless of sexual orientation or gender identification, should get
to make the decision about whether to marry or not for themselves.
Without that choice, there isn't a true equality.
what will i wear??
At present, as I said above, I am out of control. I have a certain
amount of wine and food, and I feel like I am a runaway train that
can't stop at the moment. However, I have spread things out and
haven't purged again, and am just trying to go with it all, and enjoy
My face is finished, my body's gone, and I might as well try to
But yes, with all the drinking, I am more self-conscious about how I
look in daytime hours.
Can I compensate? Instead of painting the town red, I am currently
painting my lips and nails red.. Actually, this colour is called
'mystic' and is more of an Anais Nin red (more burgundy or wine), but
with the flash, it looks like another red I have called Rock and Roll
I have been fairly extravagant on my trip. I guess it's obvious I
have spent a considerable amount on accommodation. In the past, I
chose many interesting places that very often cost about the same or
even less than what people pay for a 'normal' or even 'inexpensive'
hotel room. I think most people might not be aware that more unusual
options exist, but I do realize the other thing is that most people
don't care much about the hotel or accommodation, because they are
there to soak up the cultural experiences, not hole up in a boutique
But.. if you have antisocial tendencies or anxiety issues, or a bit
of a different personal rhythm, it can be good to have a cool place
to hole up in, if need be. I can't say I know much about architecture
or design, but staying in an unusual place has often been part of
what stays with me about any particular travel.
This time, I paid about twice what I normally would for
accommodation, (even though 7 years have gone by, and maybe there
should be some inflation), but I made a decision to stay less than
half as long. I think on this trip, I made excellent choices.
And I am actually kind of surprised they didn't charge more than
what they did for this apartment in the Majorca Building..
In 2008, my grandfather died and left me some money. It took some
time (a few years) for the will to be settled. I hadn't yet spent the
money he left me. He loved travel himself, and I am thinking he might
have liked what I am doing with the money - although he was a lot
more careful to find bargains, and might worry about the extent of
the drinking.. This is turning out to be a 'trip of a lifetime' for
me, and hands down the best trip I've ever had. I wonder if it took
some time for me to understand myself well enough to know what I
i don't know if i have anything interesting enough to
Maybe I should go and see if I can get a colourful boa, hat, or maybe
paint my nails in rainbow colours for the rally. I realize I can just
'come as you are', but maybe to make up for lost time I want to
really get into it..
Today is Thursday.. I have 2 more days to work this out. Plus, I want
to try to see at least one film festival entry at The Forum.
I do feel like I am living in my own apartment. Maybe I can live a
lifetime in a week..
ah yes, there is something I meant to discuss, related to some of
what kind of embarrasses me about myself.
I am more than a little slow in many ways. There are some things that
are probably obvious to most people that I can have trouble working
out. For example, I accidentally got water all over the bathroom
floor, and used a big towel to sop it up, and so I thought I would
use the washing machine to test it out.. but then I couldn't figure
out how to use the washing machine. I kept getting an error code, and
I feel too self-conscious to ask how to use something simple like a
washing machine. I won't really need it while here - I tend to
handwash my underwear and tights (I hung them in the bathroom - I was
specifically asked not to hang wet things on the furniture here, and
I am completely fine with being respectful of that - it's a really
nice place, and there are some really nice things here), but when it
comes to things like towels and sheets, partly because of my skin
issues (er, and makeup..), I might like to freshen some things up.
And I do tend to keep things relatively tidy. If I were living in my
own apartment, it would be tidy - that's just the way I am. There are
extra towels, but I guess there is that thing where I sort of want to
clean up after myself as I go along.
Thinking it over, there are a lot of ways in which I am not very
bright. At The Blackman, when I checked in, I couldn't figure out how
to turn the lights on in the room. Most people are aware you have to
put the keycard in the slot by the door, but I entered the rooom, and
then of course it was dark and I couldn't see anything.
But, it gets worse. With that one, I did call down to reception for
help. When it came to the in-room tv system, I basically couldn't get
the menu to work or progress past the annoying default setting with
horrible muzak. I eventually managed to just turn it off, and that
I have missed calls on my cell phone because I can't remember how to
answer it. Well, the thing is that I have received so few calls over
the years that I've never really become all that familiar with mobile
I'm also embarrassed to admit that I can't remember how to answer the
intercom or open the door downstairs if anyone did drop by for a
visit while I'm here in the Majorca Building. I think this is one of
the types of things I might not bother to think about or prioritize,
and then if the completely unexpected happened and someone came to
the door, I wouldn't have prepared myself for the situation
beforehand because it wasn't registering as a possibility. And then
figuring it out when anxious or on the spot wouldn't work?
Various people, when seeing photos of my bedroom, have commented that
it looks tidy, and I guess that's a polite way of saying 'you look
really anal, but not in a fun way'..
Did I just tidy up my room for photos? Er, no. What appears in
photos is the usual state of my room. When I wake up, I make my bed,
(I can do it in the dark), and most of the time, I keep things fairly
Also, my sense of direction is probably pretty bad. I'm actually
pretty good at reading maps, if I can do it without the pressure of
being observed, but when I go in somewhere and come out a different
door, it can mess with my sense of where I am. However, here, it's
like it's not very difficult to find my way back to anywhere. Even if
I make mistakes, I can work it out before long. And the thing is, I
even like 'getting lost' here, or in other places, because I like the
randomness of finding the unexpected. Melbourne is constructed like a
labyrinth, yes, but it doesn't feel 'dangerous'. It's intriguing and
Even on days when I haven't walked all that much, I probably still
manage to walk a fair bit. It certainly doesn't feel like 'exercise'.
Part of the problem is anxiety-related. I know that if I ask people
to explain things, I might not be able to remember what they say or
even absorb what they say because I'm nervous in the moment, and so
this ends up making me look twice as stupid if I still don't seem to
know what to do after they explain it.
Today, for a while the street music sounded kind of like swing
music? I am not sure. At present, I don't know how to describe what
they've got going on out there in the streets. Some days, a lot of
Ok, I think I will make lunch, and try to take a photo if it looks
august 13th lunch
Another yummy lunch.
Now, I think I will head to the library to upload this entry and have
a bit of a look around.. There's something sort of romantic or at
least in the literary tradition to be drunk, around books and
introverts, in the middle of the afternoon..
->exile on meme st: a diary