"noxiplum" is a combination of part of an old nickname of mine and part of the nickname of my ex. we lived together for about 7 years. it was a very significant relationship for me, one in which i felt secure enough to tell all my secrets, explain my thought and behavioural patterns, and to explore my whims, creative urges and dark side in a freer, more open way than i ever had before.

the above (unfinished) murals were my original idea for the bedroom, and were painted very quickly. i wanted to paint a massive orgy, but ran out of energy and inspiration. somehow i couldn't seem to get it as extreme as i wanted it, i was having trouble painting body parts, the masks i wanted everyone to wear weren't working out, and i just gave up. i settled for something even less extreme.

i might start off with certain ideas, but i end up just not functional enough to carry them through, or not skilled enough to express what i want to express.

the end results for the entire apartment appear at the bottom of this page. i found it somewhat pleasing to live in a place that was so blatantly abnormal, although i was always self-conscious about my lack of skill and depth when it came to expressing myself through painting. very few people actually saw these murals. i think to most people they would have seemed tacky and loud. i envisioned much different surroundings for myself ultimately, but as a temporary thing i found what i had done interesting. i especially liked it when candles were lit and all of the coloured lights were plugged in..(heh) i thought that all of it would hyper-stimulate me in a subconscious way, and lead to me figuring out what to do with myself next.

while i was painting, i had the idea that something interesting was happening, and that somehow it would lead to my life opening up, to me having more people in my life. what happened instead was that i withdrew more and more into my own private world. at one point, i left this apartment probably less than 20 times in a 3-year period, and the blinds and curtains were always closed.

i don't really feel like explaining what everything on this page is in detail. much of it was influenced by tarot imagery.

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