Hi, my name is Xesce, and I've been living with complex mental illness and trauma, as well as addiction, for more than 40 years. At present, alcohol is my drug of choice.

I haven't had treatment in more than 30 years.

The people in my life haven't known how to support me, because they haven't had enough support from society and institutions. The effects of stigma are complicated, and not well understood.

The one person left in my life is burnt out and needs help and support himself, but can't get it for the same reasons.

In order to even seek treatment and attend, I'd need massive support and understanding, from family, and a village. I'd need an amount of support and understanding that it is not reasonable to expect others to provide.

I don't want treatment. I feel I have suffered long enough.

I am mentally competent to assess my quality of life and my future prospects, including my social prospects.

I want help dying. I want humane end-of-life options.

At present, in many Australian states Voluntary Assisted Dying is available, but only to those who are terminally ill and have six months to live or less.

Mental illness is illness.

In many parts of the world, Voluntary Assisted Dying, euthanasia and doctor-assisted suicide are becoming more common. I expect that eventually, these options will be available in more circumstances - even for those suffering psychological illnesses.

I want to put my voice in, now.

Even if I never get to avail myself of such assistance, it will be meaningful to me to know that I spoke up, and that eventually others like me, who want this, may be provided humane end-of-life options.

This website is a record of my journey.

-Xesce, 28.03.22

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